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This link contains some techno-jokes, I hope you'll enjoy these.
Cup Holder
Customer: "Can you help me, the cup holder on my new computer broke, and I don't know what to do?
Friend: "Cup holder? What are you talking about? None of our computers come with a cup holder attached to them, and I've never heard of one that did".
Customer: Yes, well the one you sold me did, and the other day I went to set a mog of coffee on it and it just snapped off!"
Friend: "Sir, can you describe what the cup holder looks like, because I still can't picture what a cup holder on a computer would look like?"
At this point the customer is getting a little irritated!
Customer: "Look, I don't know how you could not know that you sell computers with cup holders on them, because it's right in the middle of the thing, and when you push a button on the side, it pops out so you can set your drink on it, and it says 40X on the front cover!"
A long pause......
Friend: Sir, are you telling me, you're using your CD-Rom drive as a beverage holder?"
Customer: "What's a CD-Rom
Drive?????"
True Stories Of The Non-Technically Inclined
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied,
"I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a battery for this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries....it's a long
walk."
Several years ago we had an intern who
was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use
copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
Three Monkeys
A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey. The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys.
"The one on the left costs $500," says the store owner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the store owner.
The customer inquires about the next monkeys and is told, "That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and object-relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $3000," answers the store owner.
"3000
dollars !!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?" To which
the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls
itself a Consultant."
Tech Support in Trouble
Tech Support: Word Perfect Helpline, may I help you?
Customer: Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect.
Tech Support: What sort of trouble?
Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Tech Support: Went away?
Customer: They disappeared.
Tech Support: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Customer: Nothing.
Tech Support: Nothing?
Customer: It's blank; It won't accept anything when I type.
Tech Support: Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?
Customer: How do I tell?
Tech Support: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
Customer: What's a sea-prompt?
Tech Support: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?
Customer: There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't acept anything I type.
Tech Support: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Customer: What's a monitor?
Tech Support: It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
Customer: I don't know.
Tech Support: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?
Customer: Yes, I think so.
Tech Support: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Customer: Hmmmm..... Yes, it is.
Tech Support: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Customer: Oh... Okay, here it is.
Tech Support: Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of you computer.
Customer: I can't reach.
Tech Support: Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
Customer: Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-- it's because it's dark.
Tech Support: Dark?
Customer: Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is in from the window.
Tech Support: Well turn on the office light then.
Customer: I can't.
Tech Support: No? Why not?
Customer: Because the power just went off.